Understanding Your Self Worth

Self Worth is different from self esteem. Self esteem is how you feel about yourself and can have highs and lows depending on your mood or your situation. Self worth however is something you are born with. You can sometimes loose sight of your self worth but it's something you can find back.
As we grow older and associate with people who may not wish us the best in our endeavors we may come to not like ourselves and believe that we don't deserve anything good. The way we were treated by members of our immediate family and by our peers growing up contributed to the creation of our general self-worth. Major life events like the death of a loved one or divorce can also temporarily affect self-worth.
Our self-esteem suffers while our self worth is forgotten

Self-esteem and self worth goes hand in hand. To recognize our true potential and be our best we have got to know what we are worth and when we have low self-esteem understanding our self worth is hard to do. Most times people who are in abusive relationships suffer from both low self-esteem and low self worth. To stay in an abusive relationship means that we don't realize our self worth and think we don't deserve better than what we have. Low self-esteem tricks us into believing we are not good enough and are not worthy of the good things in life and love.

When we have low self-esteem and forgotten self worth it makes it difficult for us to truly love someone else for in order to love someone we must first love our self.  

Identify characteristics of healthy self-worth- Healthy self-worth might mean that you have learned to accept yourself, along with your strengths and weaknesses. Once you have learned to accept yourself, you will be able to set goals that are appropriate.
Reaching those goals will lead to increased self-worth. People with high self-worth have integrity, take responsibility for their actions, are proud of what they have accomplished, are able to handle criticism, and are not afraid to take risks.Reflect on your strengths and identify areas that need improvement.

Summarize strategies for enhancing self-worth
The way we think and feel about ourselves can have a huge effect on the way we treat people and the choices we make. Whether you have high or low self-worth is usually reflected in what you believe about yourself. Believing negative things about yourself will lower your self-worth
in the same way that believing positive things about yourself with raise your self-worth.
Try some of these strategies for enhancing your self-worth:

• Make sure to spend time with people who love and care about you.
• Stay away from people who put you down or treat you badly.
• Set goals and work hard to achieve them.
• Reward yourself for your accomplishments.
• Don't compromise your integrity or values.
• Take responsibility for yourself, your choices and your actions.

I'm Back: Sorry For Leaving

Hey readers, I'm sorry that I haven't posted in forever but just after I started this blog, my life went on a roller coaster ride and it was just so much to deal with that I couldn't focus my attention on anything else for a very long time. I'm still not completely off the roller coaster but it's a lot better so I decided to start blogging again. When I came back to my blog I saw that I got a blog follower named Nicole McGrath, thanks for following and I also saw she commented on my post about dealing with depression. I just want to say to Nicole that I'm very sorry that I wasn't around to answer you when you first commented. Please forgive me. I'm going to answer your question in the comments section so look out for that.

So like I said I'm back and I'm sorry I was gone so long. I'm going to continue blogging about these issues and if any of you need someone to talk to or you have a problem you need advice on feel free to email me.
The email address I was using is no longer operational so you can now email me at askrai@hotmail.com 
When you send your email be sure to include if you would want it to be posted on the blog or kept between you and I. If you don't mind it being posted I will answer your question as a blog post which will in return help someone else who may also be going through the same problem as you. Have no fear, if you don't want it online and would prefer it being just between us I would answer your question by replying to your email. I want you to be comfortable so I would never post anything you don't want me to.

I have also started a twitter account with which I will be tweeting little inspirational quotes and tips on just life in general. You can follow me @AskRai to tweet me your problems.
Can't wait to hear from all of you

Love & Light
Rai

Our Deepest Fear

This is one of my favorite quotes. Taken from A Return To Love: Reflections on the Principles of A Course in Miracles by Marianne Williamson 

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant,
gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously
give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.

I love this quote because so many of us doubt ourselves. We never think we are good enough or we deserve anything. We often think if we shrink into the background it would be better. But better for who? Like Marianne said "There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do."

When people are depressed or abused they tend to think that if they shrink maybe they will be left alone but to overcome these things we have to do the opposite. We have to show these abusers that we will not stand for being treated like nothing for we are something. We deserve better. We deserve the best.

So try to remember this poem whenever things are rough and try to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Everything will be okay if we just believe in ourselves 

Dealing With Depression

Today I want to talk about depression. 

Depression is the number one mental illness in Trinidad and Tobago and it affects people from all walks of life. Depression does not discriminate against age, gender, geographic location, social position or color. Anyone, anywhere can have feelings of depression and it may be very nerve racking when you don't understand what you are experiencing, if you don't think there is anyone else going through depression or you don't have anyone to talk to.

When you are depressed you experience feelings of loneliness, hopelessness, fatigue, overwhelming fear, and endless worry. You may feel like you have no where to turn or no one to turn to. Some people even have suicidal thoughts. But just because you are going through this doesn't mean you have to give up everything you love and enjoy. As a matter of fact it's encouraged to continue doing the things you love and enjoy, even if you may not feel like it. I t may be so much easier to just retreat and stay locked up in the house by yourself but being around the people you love and doing the things you enjoy will make you feel a lot better.

The number one thing you can do to help yourself when you are depressed is reach out. Reach out to someone you feel safe enough to open up to. It may be hard to do especially if you are a young person because your peers may not understand what you are going through and may just brush off your feelings. But there are teachers you will understand what you are going through and not judge you or view you differently once they know you have depression. Many schools have counselors  available if you want to talk or you can just talk to your favorite teacher. An older brother or sister is a good choice as well.

If you would rather talk to someone who doesn't know you, there are hot-lines in Trinidad that you can call and talk to one of their counselors. I'm also offering my time to talk to anyone who may be having a problem and don't know where to turn. I will talk to you on IM, Twitter and Facebook.

Another good thing to do when dealing with depression is create a wellness toolbox:
Come up with a list of things that you can do for a quick mood boost. Include any strategies, activities, or skills that have helped in the past. The more “tools” for coping with depression, the better. Try and implement a few of these ideas each day, even if you’re feeling good.

Talk to a friend-many people find this to be really helpful Talk to a health care professional Peer counseling or exchange listening Focusing exercises Relaxation and stress reduction exercises Guided imagery Journaling--writing in a notebook Creative affirming activities like painting, singing, dancing, cooking Exercise Diet considerations Light through your eyes Extra rest Take time off from home or work responsibilities Hot packs or cold packs Take medications, vitamins, minerals, herbal supplements Attend a support group See your counselor Do something "normal" like washing your hair, shaving or going to work Get a medication check Get a second opinion  Spend some time in nature. Call a warm or hot line Surround yourself with people who are positive, affirming and loving Wear something that makes you feel good Look through old pictures, scrapbooks and photo albums Make a list of your accomplishments Spend ten minutes writing down everything good you can think of about yourself Do something that makes you laugh Do something special for someone else Get some little things done Repeat positive affirmations Focus on and appreciate what is happening right now Take a warm bath Listen to music, make music or sing  Your list of tools could also include things you want to avoid like: alcohol, sugar and caffeine going to bars getting overtired certain people

Go outside. 

You'll be surprised to know that light plays a huge part in depression, when you remain cooped up in a dark room all day your are just going to remain depressed so the more natural light you can expose yourself to the better. You can sit out in the garden or open the blinds in your room, go for a walk,do anything that would get you exposure to natural sunlight.


Get Moving.
 Exercise is a great way to cope with depression. You may not want to but once you do you will feel rejuvenated. Exercise is just as effective as antidepressant medication. You'll give yourself a natural boost.
Physical activity increases mood-enhancing neurotransmitters in the brain, raises endorphins, reduces stress, and relieves muscle tension – all things that can have a positive effect on depression. 

Replace Negative Thoughts With Positive Thoughts 

You can't cure depression by thinking positive but you can replace your negative thoughts by challenging your negative thinking. Ways to challenge your negative thinking are:

• Think outside yourself. Ask yourself if you’d say what you’re thinking about yourself to someone else. If not, stop being so hard on yourself. Think about less harsh statements that offer more realistic descriptions.
• Keep a “negative thought log”. Whenever you experience a negative thought, jot down the thought and what triggered it in a notebook. Review your log when you’re in a good mood. Consider if the negativity was truly warranted. For a second opinion, you can also ask a friend or therapist to go over your log with you.
• Replace negatives with positives. Review your negative thought log. Then, for each negative thought, write down something positive. For instance, “My parents hates me. They are making me stay home and babysit my little sister” could be replaced with, “My parents must have a lot of faith in me to give me so much responsibility.”
• Socialize with positive people. Notice how people who always look on the bright side deal with challenges, even minor ones, like not being able to find a parking space. Then consider how you would react in the same situation. Even if you have to pretend, try to adopt their optimism and persistence in the face of difficulty.